A woman who disinvited her mother and sister from her wedding because the sister wants to bring her two kids, who “act up a lot,” to the event received a wave of support on Reddit.
In a post shared under the username siskidsthrowaway on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) forum, which received 6,742 upvotes at the time of writing, the bride-to-be said, “I have now blocked both her [the mother] and my sister on everything,” following more heated interactions with the mom after the pair were disinvited. You can read the full post here.
According to the post, no children under the age of 16 are allowed at her wedding, apart from the couple’s “high functioning” autistic daughter, Ella.
“She’s incredibly quiet, keeps to herself, very polite and acts more mature than some adults I know,” the user said.
Autism spectrum disorder is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. Autistic people “behave, communicate, interact, and learn in ways that are different from most other people,” explains the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
A woman was praised online for disinviting her sister and mother from her wedding. Above, a woman seen arguing with her mother on a couch.iStock/Getty Images Plus
Why Not Invite Kids?
The two children of the user’s sister in the Reddit post (twin siblings who are 7 years old) “act up a lot” and “if they aren’t [the] center of attention they scream at the top of their lungs,” according to the original poster.
Her sister claims her kids are also autistic, but the bride-to-be said “they are not,” as the multiple specialists the kids were seen by have “all said they don’t have any mental disabilities.”
The user said: “I do not want these kids at my wedding because I know they will act up, and sis [my sister] won’t do anything,” claiming, “they’re autistic, I can’t discipline them, they don’t understand.”
The mother suggested that perhaps it’s best that Ella stays home so that her sister’s kids “won’t feel left out” from the wedding.
When the user said “no,” explaining that “Ella was the only [exception] from the rule as she’s ours,” the mother kept insisting the user should make an exception for her sister.
The original poster later “just snapped” and told the mother to “f**k off,” stating just because her sister was “her favorite,” it didn’t mean “she had to have everything about her/her kids, and especially not at MY wedding.”
The user said she and her fiance “decided against letting either my mom or sis come to the wedding.”
The Importance of Siblings
Sibling relationships can play an important role in your personal development from childhood.
In a March 2022 article published by the American Psychological Association (APA), Shawn Whiteman, a professor of human development and family studies at Utah State University, said: “The sibling relationship has the ability to uniquely shape a child’s behavior, adjustment, and well-being, for better and worse.”
A 2021 study in the peer-reviewed Journal of Family Psychology said, “Sibling relationships have a profound and lasting impact on children’s development and parents often seek for ways to optimize them.”
In a January 2020 article for Counseling Today, a publication of the American Counseling Association, Rosjke Hasseldine, a mother-daughter relationship therapist, said that “mothers and daughters fight over their denied needs.”
She explained, “The inability to openly and honestly ask about what they need creates emotionally manipulative behavior between mothers and daughters and sets daughters up to have to mind read their mothers’ unspoken and unacknowledged needs.”
Several users praised the bride-to-be for banning the mom and sister from the wedding, emphasizing that it’s “your wedding.”
In a comment that got 8,100 upvotes, user Izzy4162305 said the bride-to-be is “NTA [not the a**hole],” suggesting she “Tell Mom that she can stay home and babysit the Terror Twins.”
User teve-in-ONE said, “Let me see if I understand this correctly. YOUR wedding. YOUR daughter. No. NTA. And if anyone else cannot understand the connection, maybe they shouldn’t come to the wedding…” in a comment that got 1,500 upvotes.
User Ecstatic-Highway-246 said, “Sounds like Mom needs to babysit Sis, too—she doesn’t act like an adult,” in a comment that got 1,200 upvotes.
LeatherMost2757 chimed in, asking “Who gets stuck with babysitting the meddling Mom?” in a comment that got 415 votes.
SkrogedScourge said, “Enjoy your day without a second thought as to [whether you’re] in the wrong because [it’s] your day and you tried to be polite [you’re] not in the wrong here.
The user added, “your daughter who you and fiancé share together should completely be there…even if she was a step child it’s perfectly right she be included.”
Weddings in the News
A bride-to-be with COVID was praised for refusing to cancel her $16,000 “dream wedding.
However, a bride who banned her sister-in-law from her wedding for being too pretty sparked fury.
On the other hand, a groom-to-be melted hearts by asking his dog to be his “best boy”.